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11 Tiresome Types of Facebookers You Should Unfriend ASAP

Facebook is one of the most popular forms of social media and where everyone is these days. This never-ending virtual social gathering filled with relationships, wedding or baby announcements, teary breakups, viral videos, important and not-so-important events (such as extravagant vacations), various groups and fan pages, is our high-tech era’s finest way for people to get closer to each other. (Sad, I know.) What’s even worse, however, is that Facebook is overflowing with annoying types of people who log in just to make things even more miserable for the rest of us—you know, “normal” people who spend 24/7 on our favorite virtual meeting spot. We collected eleven of these day ruiners and advise every sane user who respects his Facebook status to delete these losers ASAP. Written By Theodoros II

THE DOCUMENTARIAN

This type of Facebooker thinks that he or she has a special talent for capturing the moment. If the photo albums they post on Facebook for every little thing they do and every little place they go were worth money these people would be multimillionaires by now. There are way too many amateur photos on Facebook, way too many for a single pair of eyes to handle at any given time.

THE FAKE ACCOUNT

Come on, let’s be real here. This is a fake account by your scorned ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend who will stalk you nonstop. They are either too kind or angry with you, depending on what terms the relationship ended, and will stalk you until the moment they meet someone new or finally decide to move on and do something better with their lives. 

THE TAGGER

To this type of Facebooker it really doesn’t matter if they are in Brazil and you’re in Sweden, they will tag you in their photo anyway. Obviously the only thing that counts to them is for their posts to get as many likes as possible. 

THE TROLL

Facebook trolls are not necessarily rude or obnoxious but they are really annoying and love to troll for some reason, just like they loved making noise just to make noise in the classroom back in high school. 

THE “CHEF”

This type of Facebooker focuses exclusively on food and deep inside they wish they were working for Gordon Ramsey or Jamie Oliver. Their photo album contains at least five thousand food-related photos and they take pride in how well they cook and garnish their plate. 

THE CONSPIRACY THEORIST

Let’s face it: there are some people who never went to college and haven’t achieved much in their lives. And there are people who just don’t have a life whatsoever. Thus, they need to feel important somehow so they decide it would be a great idea to enlighten all of us clueless sheep about the darkest political, scientific, and technological mysteries throughout the history of human civilization. As if these secrets are so important that groups like the Freemasons would allow any loser to post ideas all over Facebook just like that without any fallout, right?

THE PHILOSOPHER

They personally annoy me even more than the conspiracy theorists. Why? Because I happen to know many of these “philosophers” in real life and I know for a fact that they haven’t read a single sentence— let alone a whole book—by Plato, Aristotle, Voltaire, Nietzsche, and the rest of the titans of philosophy, but they shamelessly post their inspirational quotes constantly because they’re trying to impress a girl.

THE PARTY ANIMAL

Just as with the tagger, to these types of Facebookers it doesn’t matter if you live on the other side of the world or even the other side of the galaxy, because they are so excited about their upcoming party that they invite friends from every corner of the planet without taking into account who can realistically attend. For fuck’s sake just take a look at where some of your friends live, you idiots. 

THE STUCK-UP HYPOCRITE

This type of loser spends about half the day trying to get a single perfect photo only so he or she can post it on Facebook accompanied with the tagline, “I don’t feel good today and it clearly shows.” Of course, the photo they’ve posted looks like it was taken at a fashion magazine photo shoot and all they want is tons of compliments and likes. Vanity at its best! 

THE RELIGIOUS FREAK

The religious freak is nowhere near as peaceful as he or she might sound since this category of Facebooker is not into praising their own religion really, but bashing the religions of others. The whole Christian vs Muslim thing in particular has become a clash of the titans as of late.

THE KEYBOARD GANGSTER

This one is my favorite. Ladies and gents, we are talking about the Chuck Norris, the Conor McGregor, the Terminator, the Robocop, the Godzilla, and King Kong of the virtual world, who promises to kick the asses and break the teeth of all those who live four continents and three oceans away. Unfortunately, in real life this Facebooker is usually the victim of bullying which forced him in the first place to live the life he wishes he had from behind a computer screen. Simply put, pathetic!

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