iPhone 5 is Ready For Release

Today Apple fanboys can finally empty those overflowing ball sacks. They've waited two years for this moment and finally Apple has answered their call for an iPhone 5. And it gets released into their Rosy Palms today. It's monumental people. A whole extra row of icons at your disposal and let's not forget the new Maps (clearly much better than the crappy Google ones), the improved Siri and most important, the Facebook integration so you can post pictures of your Apple products and the food you eat even faster. I don't want to jump the gun here, but I'm going with revolutionairy. No, really. I hate people who pity the fools that wait in line to by a product. I hate people who say they'll only wait in line for free money, free booze, free drugs or free sex. These people simply do not love Apple and their ways. I hate myself.